Kopgig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, deceitful crab.

Kopgig created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Kopgig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kopgig, it will turn you into a dog.

Kopgig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Kopgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never jump near tortoises.

3. Never think ill of sick shrews.

4. Run away if three eagles approach from the north.

5. Always help sick mites.