Soglankam Gumnibquam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, capable mole.

Soglankam Gumnibquam created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Soglankam Gumnibquam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Soglankam Gumnibquam, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Soglankam Gumnibquam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Soglankam Gumnibquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near mice while wearing red tights and balancing five nickel spheres on your legs.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never hurt seals.