Dotwadtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable mole.

Dotwadtarp created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotwadtarp, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotwadtarp, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dotwadtarp's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dotwadtarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dotwadtarp.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always wear green.

5. Never eat bark.