Arpdagrak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, vain faun.

Arpdagrak created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdagrak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arpdagrak, she will be very sad.

Arpdagrak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Arpdagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Arpdagrak's name in vain.

2. Never jump near great tits.

3. You must pray to Arpdagrak six times a day.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpdagrak.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near doves while wearing fawn corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.