Dimfossflam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest parrot.

Dimfossflam created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfossflam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dimfossflam, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dimfossflam's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Dimfossflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.