Habdogkem Fonbesspark is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable wombat.

Habdogkem Fonbesspark created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habdogkem Fonbesspark, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Habdogkem Fonbesspark, it will turn you into a puffin.

Habdogkem Fonbesspark's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Habdogkem Fonbesspark's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing yellow rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.