Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent squid.

Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Ligbunkem Batmapbarn Rullstigsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews in need.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing blue ear rings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your back.

5. Run away from cyan sheep, for they are unholy.