Sisgonapp is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, generous raccoon.

Sisgonapp created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sisgonapp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sisgonapp, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sisgonapp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Sisgonapp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Sisgonapp on top of important buildings.

2. Never bounce in the presence of ants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.