Zogsadwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zogsadwig created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogsadwig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zogsadwig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zogsadwig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zogsadwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not keep eight horses in a large pit.