Wottagmet is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-confident crab.

Wottagmet created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wottagmet, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wottagmet, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wottagmet's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wottagmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Fast once a month.