Nilbidlam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful dolphin.

Nilbidlam created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilbidlam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nilbidlam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nilbidlam's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Nilbidlam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the east.

5. Pray towards the north.