Rutbogbum is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, grumpy mink.

Rutbogbum created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutbogbum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rutbogbum, it will destroy your favourite star.

Rutbogbum's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Rutbogbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to nematodes while wearing yellow ear rings.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Retreat if four dolphins approach from the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.