Labdadjipvegbessfubnul is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking guinea pig.

Labdadjipvegbessfubnul created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdadjipvegbessfubnul, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labdadjipvegbessfubnul, it will curse you with boils.

Labdadjipvegbessfubnul's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Labdadjipvegbessfubnul's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away from pink frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Always treat moths with great respect.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.