Quimcitpitarm is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent bee.

Quimcitpitarm created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimcitpitarm, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quimcitpitarm, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quimcitpitarm's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Quimcitpitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Quimcitpitarm's priests.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Worship no other gods but Quimcitpitarm.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about limes.