Megbogyartpib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy alligator.

Megbogyartpib created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Megbogyartpib, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Megbogyartpib, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Megbogyartpib's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Megbogyartpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.