Stafgepfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, boastful bat.

Stafgepfoss created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafgepfoss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafgepfoss, she will turn you into a goat.

Stafgepfoss' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stafgepfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Stafgepfoss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about tortoises.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Retreat if seven mites approach from the west.

5. Never talk about fire.