Megtitpit is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring bear.

Megtitpit created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Megtitpit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Megtitpit, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Megtitpit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Megtitpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.