Tinnegwit is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless hedgehog.

Tinnegwit created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinnegwit, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tinnegwit, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tinnegwit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tinnegwit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Tinnegwit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Never hop near eagles.