Mapsawfed is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, tiresome dragon.

Mapsawfed created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapsawfed, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mapsawfed, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mapsawfed's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Mapsawfed's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Run away from mauve badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Mapsawfed's name in vain.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.