Vidpakfotditgeb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome jaguar.

Vidpakfotditgeb created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidpakfotditgeb, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vidpakfotditgeb, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vidpakfotditgeb's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vidpakfotditgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing mauve stockings and balancing seven lead spheres on your feet.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.