Loptikbud is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, impressive mouse.

Loptikbud created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loptikbud, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Loptikbud, it will turn you into a rat.

Loptikbud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Loptikbud's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loptikbud.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Loptikbud loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing magenta shorts and balancing four lead spheres on your hands.