Tanzenrow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair cow.

Tanzenrow created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Tanzenrow, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tanzenrow, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tanzenrow's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tanzenrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never sit near hamsters.

5. Run away if three badgers approach from the west.