Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, passionate jellyfish.

Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cedfasflabren Flatyattveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Always treat shrews with great respect.

5. Never mention otters.