Tarpdodvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless dugong.

Tarpdodvil created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdodvil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpdodvil, he will strike you with lightening.

Tarpdodvil's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tarpdodvil's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink alcohol.