Catloggar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless seal.

Catloggar created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catloggar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Catloggar, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Catloggar's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Catloggar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never leap in the presence of bats.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing blue stockings and balancing seven lead spheres on your back.