Quagbutgen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable chinchilla.

Quagbutgen created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbutgen, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quagbutgen, it will turn you into a mouse.

Quagbutgen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quagbutgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Never sit in the presence of whales.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not keep eight pigs in a large pit.

5. Never write about asteroids.