Yogmapshav is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yogmapshav created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yogmapshav, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yogmapshav, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yogmapshav's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yogmapshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to ants while wearing mauve hats.

2. Do not take Yogmapshav's name in vain.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.