Milsitjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing pigeon.

Milsitjarn created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Milsitjarn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Milsitjarn, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Milsitjarn's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Milsitjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Milsitjarn in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Milsitjarn.