Wiphomkon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish weasel.

Wiphomkon created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphomkon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wiphomkon, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Wiphomkon's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wiphomkon's Holy Commandments

1. Wiphomkon loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Never jump in the presence of whales.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.