Bannadvog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful newt.

Bannadvog created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Bannadvog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bannadvog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bannadvog's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bannadvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing brown corsets and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Never look at planets.