Tailhitcid Teenlitspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring octopus.

Tailhitcid Teenlitspag created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailhitcid Teenlitspag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailhitcid Teenlitspag, it will think nothing of it.

Tailhitcid Teenlitspag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tailhitcid Teenlitspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing indigo shoes and balancing seven copper spheres on your chest.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.