Timjonsas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered wyvern.

Timjonsas created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timjonsas, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Timjonsas, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Timjonsas' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Timjonsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about optics near geese while wearing red ear rings and balancing five copper spheres on your face.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Timjonsas loves mites, so they must be respected.