Bifquagkom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless gerbil.

Bifquagkom created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifquagkom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bifquagkom, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bifquagkom's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bifquagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing blue ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your arms.

5. Never sprint in holy places.