Latzigbid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking troll.

Latzigbid created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latzigbid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Latzigbid, it will turn you into a mouse.

Latzigbid's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Latzigbid's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Latzigbid.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near porpoises while wearing purple hats.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Run away from yellow eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Never wear gray shoes.