Wapyakkimquart is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, benevolent aardvark.

Wapyakkimquart created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Wapyakkimquart, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wapyakkimquart, she will turn you into a rat.

Wapyakkimquart's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Wapyakkimquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wapyakkimquart.

5. Never feed parsnips to eagles while wearing purple tights.