Beddissbam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, weak newt.

Beddissbam created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Beddissbam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Beddissbam, it will turn you into a plant.

Beddissbam's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Beddissbam's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed aubergines to bats while wearing ear rings.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always obey Beddissbam's priests.