Pascapyartbanrowquim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing octopus.

Pascapyartbanrowquim created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Pascapyartbanrowquim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pascapyartbanrowquim, he will turn you into a rock.

Pascapyartbanrowquim's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pascapyartbanrowquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from gray snails, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Pascapyartbanrowquim loves birds, so they must be respected.