Zignutjon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent tapir.

Zignutjon created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zignutjon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zignutjon, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zignutjon's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zignutjon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always obey Zignutjon's priests.

5. Always help sick ants.