Zanpighim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise squirrel.

Zanpighim created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanpighim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zanpighim, he will turn you into a worm.

Zanpighim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zanpighim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about dark energy near swans while wearing purple rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.

3. You must pray to Zanpighim three times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.