Batkapsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, overgenerous lizard.

Batkapsaf created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Batkapsaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Batkapsaf, she will turn you into a hamster.

Batkapsaf's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Batkapsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near goats while wearing orange hats and balancing three titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Never skip in the presence of otters.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.