Bapkap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, emotional hyena.

Bapkap created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bapkap, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bapkap's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bapkap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing pink shorts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.