Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, prudent guinea pig.

Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stafpibbon Gunlimzancum's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never feed carrots to aardvarks while wearing pink trousers.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.