Queegcemlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic raven.

Queegcemlarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Queegcemlarp, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Queegcemlarp, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Queegcemlarp's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Queegcemlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured hamsters.

3. Never wear mauve shoes.

4. Never paint your chest turquoise.

5. Pray towards the south.