Nelzodyak Yarttanvad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tranquil gorilla.

Nelzodyak Yarttanvad created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelzodyak Yarttanvad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nelzodyak Yarttanvad, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nelzodyak Yarttanvad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nelzodyak Yarttanvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always look after injured mice.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to dogs while wearing red scarves.