Narlgonveg is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, vain turtle.

Narlgonveg created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlgonveg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narlgonveg, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Narlgonveg's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Narlgonveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.