Xinyamnel is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, deceitful shark.

Xinyamnel created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Xinyamnel, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xinyamnel, he will jump up and down on your head.

Xinyamnel's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Xinyamnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away from orange pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.