Tonkgutrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sage unicorn.

Tonkgutrutt created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgutrutt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonkgutrutt, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tonkgutrutt's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tonkgutrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing fawn boots and balancing seven silicon spheres on your hands.