Zakhapdod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful walrus.

Zakhapdod created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakhapdod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zakhapdod, she will turn you into a mole.

Zakhapdod's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Zakhapdod's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Zakhapdod must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never write about galaxies.