Hugcarflat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable elephant.

Hugcarflat created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hugcarflat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hugcarflat, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hugcarflat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hugcarflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.