Kimloopbet Ratflig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, slow faun.

Kimloopbet Ratflig created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimloopbet Ratflig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kimloopbet Ratflig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kimloopbet Ratflig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kimloopbet Ratflig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kimloopbet Ratflig first in all things.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not kill moths.

4. Kimloopbet Ratflig loves goats, so they must be honoured.

5. Learn six new languages a year.
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