Yogquaffad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, uncaring mongoose.

Yogquaffad created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogquaffad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yogquaffad, it will destroy your home planet.

Yogquaffad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yogquaffad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to seals while wearing trousers.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.